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Unread 04-08-2003, 02:17 PM   #1
Misanthrope
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Wink A little political humor

This is supposed to be from John Cleese, I have no idea if that is true or not, but it does work if you read it like you would hear him speaking it. If that makes sense to anyone...



Cleese on the Axis of Evil
by John Cleese

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil",
Libya, China, and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis
of Just as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid
Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of
the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as
having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as
evil - in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il.
"Everybody knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil . ...we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of
Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian president Bashar
al-Assad. "An axis can't have more than three countries," explained
Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition.
In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis.
So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wicked
cool."

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift,
as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious
nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of
geopolitical chairs.

Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis of
Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the
"Axis of Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia
established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally
Disagreeable". With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the
desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda
applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But
Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics".

Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are
Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About
America," while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis
of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat,
really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First
Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps
making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes,
although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose
Names End in 'guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false
application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied
the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
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