Fan Fiction - Harchester United
 

May Cause Offense

hey i've wrote a few comedy scripts i'd like to have your opinons on if you could :)

(it may take you a few episodes to relate to the charecters but could you please tell me what you think)

this is my first sketch, the 2nd sketch (flatmates) is a rip off of friends :D where as this one is based on Harchester United (Dream Team) if you ever watched it (you dont really need to know much about Harchester though to follow it)

(Osh's Fan Fiction is currenly on Episode 1 of Series 3)

This is Osh's Fan Fic Series 1 Ep 1


It lights up and its august and were at Harchester Training ground looking around we only see 17 players 1 more then the required amount to play in a match there is no sign of Karl Fletcher or Jamie Parker

Stevie:Thats a Tragic Loss with Karl Fletcher Not being here, i mean that was just the final straw in da draw or summat like that

Monday: yeh i know Karl's Mum will be very upset aswell i heard they were close

Stevie: yeh they were, Karl's Dad was a good footballer aswell bet karls crushed

Monday:wait thats him walking over here now isnt it?

they look as a depressed looking Karl walks over to them he suddenly stand on a football and legs himself up, there is a big rush over to Karl as physio "The Gaffer" says Karl has twisted his leg and will be out for about 2 weeks

Osh:(new manager)damn it that leaves me with only 1 striker, i've got an idea

Osh runs out of the training ground and walks over to some random kid and brings him into the pitch,

Osh: kid whats your name?

Kid: Sir Its JC

Osh: JC how would you like to play upfront with Monday Bandele?

JC: oh that would be cool i'd like £20,000 a week please

Osh: done.

Ok now then with the loss of Rawthorne and Parker i have decided to bring in some new players and may i now introduce Dwight Wright,

Dwight:Aight Me Mate'hz ho'wz iz diz go'in in'diz syde-a R-chaz-ta

also i brought in new midfielder David,

David:yeh hello guys

Osh:now Stevie you alright to carry on as Captain?

Stevie:yeh boss sure thing

Osh:well you cant Davids new captain!

IN THE CHAIRMANS OFFICE

Rob:Well Then whats the financial status Jack

Jack:We have £1 Million Dollars plus any money your willing to invest

Rob:alright then im going to Give Osh Vaughan a £2 million Transfer Kitty and ask him to sell a few people wheres Rachel gone

Rachel: Mr F11 sir we have just had a offer of £10 Million for Stevie Shaw from Juventus what should i say

F11:tell him he's not worth that much we'll give them him for £6 million

Rachel:errr ok your the boss

HOSPITAL
Karl Fletcher is crying over his father's death as Tash Parker walks in

Tash:karl you got another arm to cry on?
Karl:yeh Tash
Karl:how you coping?
Tash:its tough but im getting there, you
Karl:same same, whats the name of lil parker then?
Tash:well i remember jamie wanting to call the baby Karl and me wanting to call it Cara so im going to join the names and call him Kar,
Karl:Jamie wanted to name him after me?
Tash:nah his uncle Karl
Karl:Oh, so he's Kar Parker?
Tash:yeh isnt it cute
Karl:yeh.....

Back in training Osh's phone goes off, Osh tells new assistant Huw to take training
Osh:Hello
Osh:What! you serious you'll give me Fuzzy Wuzzy Moo Moo the Spanish International for £1 million plus Monday Bandele?
Osh:i'll accept that we'll have Fuzzy over here for a medical next week thanx

Osh turns round and looks at training and see's Stevie running round with the ball stuck to his foot

Osh: Huw why has Stevie got da football stuck to his head?

Huw:i wanted them to get gud at 1st control so i put some super glue on the football

Osh:you know what you all need phycology which is why i have my new phycologist Blue Mc Doogle

Blue: I sence eeire sences being senced, I will be posting times for you to see me......alone, Youngest first,

Blue Winks at JC before walking off

Osh's phone goes off again as Osh answers it annoyed

Osh:yes
F11: come to my office now please

Chairmans Office

Osh walks in there and see's Rob with 2 People stood by Rob

Rob: We have some good new's i have just drafted on in a free transfer Martin Peruzzi Nephew of Angelo's he will be a class midfielder for the side.

Martin: Yeh as you english say you nutta
Osh: I fink you mean Hello
Martin: Ah yes you be right and diz be my beatifulist Tiger
Osh:welcome to Harchester you join us for training tommoz?
Martin:Ah yes i will.

On The Pitch JC has been injured by a bad tackle by Peter Mack and JC is sent to see Gaffer,
JC hobbles into the physio room but is met by Blue,
Blue:So How Old are you JC
Jc:im 15
Blue Licks his lips
Jc:er is something wrong there?
Blue:err no dont worry Gaffer El Ronaldo will be here soon but how bout i help i found a way that is good just lay on the table
JC lays down as Blue moves his hand up n down JC's shin
Blue: feeling Better?
Jc:yeh thanx

Gaffer walks in and tells Blue to leave Jc alone, Gaffer inspects JC then says he will be out for about 1 day

Outside the hospital Linton is met by Danny and some Geezer named Simon
Simon:how are you 2
Linton:im in a wheel chair for life
Peggsy: im outta 1 soon
Simon:well i have a spare wheelchair here shall we drag?
Linton:yeh

Simon gets into a wheel chair and they have a drag race
Peggsy takes the lead by then Linton gets the lead while Simon is behind all of a sudden Simon jumps up and starts running past Peggsy and Linton all of a sudden they both stop and Simon starts laffing as he thinks they stopped but then BAM! simon is hit by a car and sent flying

In the hospital Karl n Tash are talking about Jamie
Karl: I miss Jamie
Tash: same here, it seems like only yesterday he was here
Karl: yeh....
all of a sudden Tash kisses Karl on his cheek
Karl then does the same to tash
then they start madly kissing each other as CREDITS ROLL